Soul-ache

In our house we have a lot of headaches. We have neti pots and medicine to try to relieve the pain, but they are both often temporary fixes. Last Friday began a different kind of pain for both Chad and me. I will call it a soul-ache. Unlike most of our headaches, I could clearly identify the sources, but have found no quick fix for any of the hurt.

Friday we found out that Chad's coworker and friend is unable to get a specific treatment for leukemia because his body is fighting too many infections. In watching our friend, my eyes have been opened to the pain involved in the treatment of cancer, and commend those who have fought the side-effects along with the disease. Pray for our friend to find comfort in the arms of The Great Physician and for his family to have the strength to keep filling their roles as encouragers to him.

Unfortunately, I had to meet Chad's sorrow with more that I had learned earlier in the day. Our friends, Allen and Courtney, had lost the first of their six babies. Later, Our God took them all home with Him. How do you go from preparing for a household of kids, to going home empty handed? I cannot begin to imagine their pain, but I am aching for them and with them.

While looking on my phone for an update on the couple above, I read a message from a friend in Montana. Last Tuesday their son, Jordan, (21-years-old) died when he went to get help after the car he was in wrecked. He died of exposure, and was found by his older brother who serves with the local search and rescue team. The two other occupants of the car hid in a hay bail, and were later rescued. Aptly, his parents included John 15:13 on his obituary, "greater love has no man that this, that he lay down his life for his friends." Honestly, I could write a whole blog on how much Jordan and his family mean to us, and how much we strive to model our family out of theirs. I think of Merrie and Kenny (parents); Asa, Laura, and Anna (siblings)everyday. My soul aches for their loss and the pain they are enduring.

So what now? Do we all just go through life until memories of tragedies like these fade? Do we simply hope that some good will come out of these situations? Are there lessons we learn? God forbid that we distance ourselves from others as a way to protect our hearts from pain! What do I take for my soul-ache? As you can tell, the treatment isn't a quick one and I sure hope that it isn't temporary.

My intention is not to get theological or philosphical because I am a SAHM that changes diapers for a living- I don't live in that world. But I am reminded that my reality, and the thoughts I am left with when quiet fills the moment, are directly related to the beliefs that I have grown inside my heart. Tozer said, "what I believe about God is the most important thing about me." Do I think that God causes tragedies like this? no, Do I think that God is in control? yes, Do I think that God is still good, even when bad things happen? yes, Do I trust that God can comfort my friends? yes. Why? Because God's Word says so and I have seen it in my experiences and as I watch the experiences of others. The time to prepare for a tragedy is today! I am reminded that I am human, and I will face pain. Nothing pre-qualified these people to undergo what they are experiencing. Despite the busyness of what "feels important" am I building a foundation of truth that will help me to draw near to God in the storm? And most importantly for my stage of life, am I showing her that God is trustworthy all the time?

I am thankful that as Romans 8:26 says, "And in the same way the Spirit also helps us in our weakness; for we do not know how to pray as we should, but the Spirit Himself intercedes for us with groanings too deep for words." Friends, I don't know how to pray for so many of you that are across the country going through trials and hardships. Please know that the Spirit is groaning, my soul is aching, and I don't need any medicine. I am content to have a soul-ache because it makes me scream, "Come back, Lord Jesus, we need your reign on this earth!"